January 2, 2008

2007 went out with a bang Part 2 of 4: Giants vs. Pats

Saturday we were headed to the Giants - Patriots game at Giants Stadium in some swamp in north Jersey. Karl was named Regional Manager of Tailgating Food by the powers that be. I gladly took up the position as Assistant to the Regional Manager a la Dwight Schrute.

While shopping I discovered that people in grocery stores have a special affinity for talking to me. Perhaps it was my perplexed countenance as I searched for the condiments aisle that caused that nice old lady to offer her expertise or that made that elderly man strike up a conversation over the necessity of sauerkraut on a hot dog.

So whatever, we bought some groceries and some liquor and a bottle of Andre, which I drank to my dome in about 20 minutes at the game.

In the parking lot we played a little beer pong (you had to aim a foot to the left because of the wind) and a little flip cup. I attempted to get the world's largest flip cup game together by yelling for people to bring their tables and their bodies over, but no one obliged or even acknowledged me for that matter. I was reunited with McCann (whom I saw drink beer for the first time ever), Spads, and Mosh who I hadn't seen since May. Spads kept begging Karl to let him be grillmaster by saying something like, "Hey, need any help?" over and over until Karl was on the table. Spads was not happier that night, or possibly his whole life, than at that moment.

The game was good. Pats went 16-0. Brady and Moss broke their respective records on a single play (how Moss got into one-on-one coverage two plays in a row is baffling). Fuck the Patriots. The highlight of the game was some grungy ass dude letting me swig off his flask to which he then screamed, "WHISKEY!" That guy was hilarious and shitfaced. He bit Mosh's arm because he is a Pats fan. Also there were two amazingly hot girls three rows behind us. One of them waved at me a couple times. I hated them because they were Patriots fans. But they were hot.

After the game we ate more burgers and hot dogs and drank more beer while the parking lot emptied out. Karl ended up leaving important parts to his dad's grill there. Asshole.

We finally left around who-the-fuck-knows o' clock. We dropped off Anthony in Paramus. He pointed out a strip club called Satin Dolls and said "It's the one from Sopranos, and it's open forever." I still don't know what that meant. We decided to stop at Satin Dolls. Dave decided to sleep in the car. We went in, and after noticing that none of the five girls on stage were nude or getting nude, we left. We would refer to this place for the rest of the weekend as the worst strip club ever.

Then we all went to sleep. Although Dave had been sleeping for about 3 hours already, including while he drove about half an hour to Karl's house. We went to bed and I woke up with a headache the next morning. Again.

2 comments:

luckyhole said...

I can't believe you drank a whole bottle of Santiago in twenty.

Michael said...

fuck the giants. and my uncle offered me tickets to that game in august, im kicking myself now