January 4, 2008

2007 went out with a bang Part 4 of 4: New Year's Eve

Just for the record, New Year's Eve 2007 sucked a huge boner. I went to a party in Boston with Mike and Ted and then got kicked out. I ended up wandering around Brighton while trying to call Fred and John for about an hour.

Fast-forward 365 days. The place: Malvern, PA.

The day was full of Rock Band, grocery shopping and playing with noise makers in the check-out line at iParty.

At the grocery store, Karl decided it would be a good idea to get the most retarded shopping cart ever. Instead of a normal cart it was like a little one with two baskets, one high and one low. Anytime I think about shopping carts I always remember the little old lady from Shop Rite who asked me, "Is this your wagon?" referring to a shopping cart. It wasn't mine.

When we got back we showered (separately) and started drinking. Before I knew it, the party was in full effect and we were playing some crazy beirut-style drinking game called 21. Then some drunk and obnoxious dude named Tim wanted to beat up some loud and obnoxious dude named Jim because Jim said "Get out of here with your earring," to Tim. I think Tim got mad because he didn't have any earrings. Jim did not know this.

Unfortunately the hottest girl at the party was married. At one point during flip cup, he said "Damn. Look at my wife's ass," to me. I gladly obliged. I told him it was nice.

Unfortunately, the second hottest girl was in high school.

Countdown to midnight. Dick Clark said "Happy Dew Year!" Champagne started flowing. More drinking. More sandwiches. And some high schooler got a handjob from his girlfriend while I was trying to sleep. . . in the same room.

We played the traditional New Year's Day football game. My soreness has finally worn off. I didn't catch any passes.

My only New Year's resolution is to stay out of jail.

Good Luck 2008.


Michael said...

yeah because you invited two people that i specifically told you would probably be kicked out