Full Frontal

Burn After Reading (this post)

2008-09-28T23:56:00.000-04:00

Saw Burn After Reading on Saturday. It was every bit as great and Coen-Brothersy as I thoguht it would be. It's hysterical. It's dark. You have to see it. Trust me.

Jaque LeMure

2008-09-23T23:48:00.002-04:00

I'm on a pretty serious new music kick lately, especially after seeing Maps & Atlases on Wednesday and Sunset Rubdown on Sunday. Both were great shows, although Sunset Rubdown played a whole bunch of songs I didn't know, despite being intimately familiar with their two most recent LPs, and The Maps & Atlases show was empty more or less.

Happymatic is an album by Hilotrons that I've been listening to almost every day for the past week or so. They're from Canada. If you liked the most recent Of Montreal (er, well not the most recent anymore but previously the most recent, Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer) you need to find this album now.

This brings me to Skeletal Lamping, the new release/not yet actually released album by Of Montreal. It's weird and crazy and zany and everything that Of Montreal never was before Satanic Panic in The Attic. Get it.

A few other albums warranting much less discussion: The Walkmen released a new album that is pretty decent. Same with Arctic Monkeys. Right now I'm listening to Lunglihgt [sic] by The Shaky Hands for the first time and I'm digging it.

Movies I need to see

2008-09-03T20:14:00.002-04:00

1. The Dark Knight. I don't deserve to live without seeing this movie, although I never saw Batman Begins. Something about the Joker being in this one though. I was really close to seeing it on Opening Night but the theater was sold out 2 hours before the show I wanted to go to.

2. Pineapple Express. Got to. I love Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow (did he even produce on this movie)

3. Vickie Christina Barcelona. Looks hot plus in the past year Woody Allen has surged to my top 5 filmmakers of all time. Also how can you not want to see Javier Bardem playing the exact opposite role of the one he's known for?

4. Burn After Reading. Coen Brothers. Clooney. Pitt. Malkovich (Fucking Malkovich!) Tilda Swinton. Frances McDormand. 'Nuff said.

I'm also intrigued by the DeNiro/ Pacino flick coming out (the name escapes me), as well as the Ridley Scott-directed, Leo/ Russel Crowe pic. They look good. Don't you just love Oscar season?

Sports Center Live? Bullshit

2008-09-03T15:26:00.004-04:00

What's the deal with Sports Center Live? Biggest crock of shit I've ver heard of. I don't really see how this is somehow better than what we were already getting. Seems to me like another way for ESPN to talk about bullshit and sponsors instead of sports.

The Olympics are finally here

2008-08-11T00:20:00.003-04:00

Four years is too long to wait. In 2004 I spent so much of the Olympic fortnight glued to my TV, watching anything that NBC would show me. Swimming, track, basketball, and so on. Now that the world's greatest sports showcase is back, I'll be doing much of the same for the next 13 days.

There's some element that is rarely captured by the sports we get on a regular basis, but the Olympics thrives on it. I can't really say what it is. But there is something about competition in its purest form that I really love. It's a welcome break from the multi-millionaire athletes we're so used to.

Something else I love about the Olympics is the variety of sports that are almost never televised otherwise. Here's some that I find most entertaining:

Water Polo - It's a lot like basketball or soccer at a tenth of the speed.
Team Handball - Water Polo without the water. A very bizarre sport to watch.
Volleyball - Beach Volleyball is good too, but I find the indoor version to be much more captivating because of the possibility of long volleys.
Shooting - I have to appreciate the difficulty of shooting a six inch wide target traveling at around 60-80 mph.

There are a lot more sports worth watching, and I'm excited.

Also, before I go, I can't help but mention the finals in the men's 4x100m freestyle relay. When Jason Lezak touched out France for the gold, after being behind with 10m to go, I literally jumped out of my seat.

In short, watch the Olympics. It's the best thing on TV for the next two weeks.

I remembered what 3 was supposed to be

2008-07-30T20:06:00.003-04:00

I can't believe I forgot this, but today while wandering around campus (mostly in order to rack up hours without actually doing any work), this dude came out of a building, asked me if I wanted to earn some money by participating in an experiment for the economics department, and then a half hour later, gave me $35 essentially for realizing that if I type the number 1 instead of 0, I will earn a lot more.

Best thing ever, since I have been the most broke motherfucker on the planet lately.

1 month anniversary

2008-07-30T19:56:00.002-04:00

Wow I can't believe it;s been over a month since I've posted on here. A lot has happened btu I won't talk about it. Just a few points that I would like to reflect on because they are currently residing in my short-term memory.

1. My favorite current song is without question A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger by Of Montreal, from the album Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? I have the urge to listen to it something like 5 times a day and every time I do, I end up with an ear-to-ear smile. My second favorite song right now is from the same album: Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse. It has the same effect on me. My third favorite song, currently, is Paper Planes by M.I.A. from the album Kala. It took me nearly a year to warm up to this album but now I'm all about it. The song is also featured in the Pineapple Express previews. I can't wait to see it.

2. Random people have been leaving comments on my No Country For Old Men post from about 4 months ago. It's kinda weird.

3. Don't remember what 3 was supposed to be so instead I'll write a few totally unrelated sentences. This weekend I'm moving across the street. I'm flying in to Baltimore on August 15th, and heading to Outer Banks with Jay Berk and girlfriend on the 16th. This Saturday is "Chem Crawl" and all day drinking event involving 10 bars and roughly 12 hours of drinking. Red Sox fans better start getting scared about their playoff chances.

Peace.

Gonna go back in time

2008-06-28T01:28:00.002-04:00

It's official:

Back To the Future is my favorite movie of all time.

I just finished watching it on HBO, and I realized that no matter how many times I see it, I still feel all the same emotions exactly the way I remember the first time I saw it.

Another Post, Another Toast

2008-06-25T23:37:00.002-04:00

I eat toast in the morning. Sometimes I eat Cheerios. Grocery shopping sucks. Just seems like I have to do it too often.

I got some hot new music recently thanks to Chadwick (not to slight Dave, who made me a mix that I have yet to listen to).

At the top of the list of recent albums are:

Metric: Grow Up and Blow Away
Chromeo: Fancy Footwork
Broken Social Scene: You Forgot It In People
The Blow: Paper Television
Wolf Parade: At Mount Zoomer
Maps & Atlases: Trees, Swallows, Houses

I'd recommend any of these to anyone that I thought would like them.

Another recommendation is the amazing HBO crime drama The Wire. The show is absolutely phenomenal. I'm through 3+ seasons now and Christ! If you haven't seen this yet, move it to the top of your list.

...

2008-06-18T00:26:00.002-04:00

Well I want to say how little i can think of to write right write right write right write right write right now. I just though about Light Bright. What a great toy. I always made a clown.

What to say

2008-06-12T20:09:00.002-04:00

Not much. The people in my research group are nice, but i get the feeling that we won't be hanging out very much outside the lab. I did make some friends today in another group.

Have you ever seen The Wire? Great HBO show about Baltimore crime. You need to see it. All of it. From the beginning. I can't recommend anything more right now. I'm almost through the 3rd season. It's awesome television.

Let's go Kobe!

I've been in Indiana a few days now

2008-06-08T20:12:00.002-04:00

This state is HOT! And in so many ways. I don't think the temperature has been below 90 once yet, and the humidity has been insane. Wednesday, as my dad and I were about to unload the trailer, the skies opened up, and torrential downpours and thunderstorms began. After about 30 minutes of hoping it would stop, we decided to venture out for some food. We were headed to the one place I know downtown from my previous visit, but the entire road was flooded. It was hilarious and terrifying all at once. I mean there was like a good foot of water on the road in front of Nick's.

Fastforward to last night. I'm at Nick's watching baseball and the next thing I know I'm in a conversation with this old man who was telling me things like Cleopatra overdosed on Asp venom. "She was used to cobra venom," he said, "but she couldn't handle the asp venom." The guy was, well I can't say nuts, but possibly one of the most interesting people I've ever met. He talked for a while and I just listened. Fascinating.

People in this state are very friendly in general. It's not like back east where so many people always seem ready to fight or yell "Fuck You!" at some one. I don't know. It's an interesting place.

Last night I had a dream that me and John were in a Spring-Break-home-game version of American Gladiators and we were doing the Eliminator. Davitt may have also been in it but he wasn't a factor in the outcome. John won by nose. Or actually I think it was an elbow. Then I woke up.

I miss everyone back home, but think I'm going to like it here, once I meet some people. I start work tomorrow. I have to go do some reading now and watch the game.

Peace

Feels like it's been years

2008-05-21T20:10:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted on here in about the amount of time since I last posted. I decided to write because of the tremendous anxiety I'm experiencing right now. Downstairs there's a collection of hot dogs and potato salads that I really want to eat. Trouble is, there's also a collection of American-Idol-watching weirdos that I don't want to have to as much as look at.

I feel trapped in my own bedroom.

I want to sneak down the stairs and out the front door, run to my car and speed off to anywhere other than here.

Ignore this post.

2008-04-21T18:43:00.003-04:00

WTF?

2008-04-09T16:32:00.000-04:00

I just found this posting on craigslist. The funny thing is that it was under lessons and not like the adult section or whatever.

Paul Krugman on helathcare

2008-04-04T11:39:00.002-04:00

Instead of telling you to read the whole article, I'll just put in this one snippet from Paul Krugman's column today.

And the international evidence on health care costs is overwhelming: the United States has the most privatized system, with the most market competition — and it also has by far the highest health care costs in the world.

So true.

No more secrets at work

2008-04-03T14:55:00.002-04:00

So as I mentioned, I recently gave my 3-and-a-half-weeks notice, and my last day will be April 25th (sighs in relief). Up until the other day though, I was keeping my grad school plans a secret from most of the people here out of fear that if they found out I wasn't interested in staying long term, they might find someone who was.

But now the proverbial cat is out of the bag. In many ways it's relieving, but in other ways, it's annoying. Specifically because I have to give almost everyone the same shpiel (sp?).

Them: What's this I hear about you leaving us?
Me: Well I'm going to grad school?
Them: Where?
Me: Indiana University
Them: Where is that?
Me: Bloomington
Them: What are you going to study?

And so on until I give them enough info so that they can walk away. Today alone I have done this to three or four different people. It's nice getting the attention from people who seem genuinely interested in my career decision. I think in another week everyone will know and not have to ask me any questions.

Opening Day

2008-04-01T14:40:00.003-04:00

Who knows when Opening Day is anymore. As far as I can tell, there have been as three opening days for baseball this season. The first was on the 26th when Oakland and Boston played in Japan. The second was Sunday night, when Washington and Atlanta played in Washington's beautiful new park. And the third was yesterday, when every team was slated to be in action (there were a couple rain outs, including my Yankees). The real Opening Day is tonight, when the Yankees will be in action (or will they? It's raining here is West Haven.) against the Blue Jays. I'm actually kinda glad it got rained out yesterday because now I will be able to see the game on TV.

I love baseball season, probably more than any other sport. I know a lot of you will argue football 'til the death, and I couldn't agree more that the NFL is the most exciting pro sports league, but what can you say to refute the fact that during baseball season, you can watch your favorite team 6 nights a weeks? Personally, I am super happy that I'm going to get to watch a solid 2.5 months of Yankee baseball. I'm almost regretting having Netflix because my turnover rate will most likely go way down because I'll be watching the Yanks most nights.

T-minus 3.5 weeks

2008-04-01T14:29:00.002-04:00

My life has seriously been filled with change lately. New car. Grad school. And now I only have 3 and a half more weeks at my job. I gave my notice today. My last day will be April 25th. Then I'm off for all of May. Just golfing and prepping for the big move to Bloomington.

It's offical (part 2)

2008-03-31T18:42:00.000-04:00

This is my new favorite YouTube video

It's official

2008-03-31T18:07:00.001-04:00

Today I officially declared my intent to enroll in the Ph.D program in the department of chemistry at Indiana University.

Exciting.

I can't not post this article

2008-03-27T13:46:00.003-04:00

I love reading Maureen Dowd's NYT column on Wednesdays.

Read it now.

My new car is money

2008-03-27T09:34:00.002-04:00

I got to see my new car last night. To be honest, I can't believe I own a car this nice. The guy that found it for me, Scott Wentworth, did an awesome job. Basically he saved me about $5000 compared to what a dealer was selling a similar car for. If anyone is looking to get a car soon, I can definitely give you this guy's number and he will hook it up for you.

I got the insurance today and tonight after work I'll go to DMV to get it registered- assuming 2 hours is enough time to do that at DMV tonight. Then finally I can drive it, er um, learn to drive it. (It's a 5-speed, and as of this posting, I cannot drive a 5-speed). HAHAHA

Hopefully I will have some pics to put up soon.

I GOT A NEW CAR!!!!

2008-03-26T11:42:00.005-04:00

Finally I got a new car. Black 2004 Volvo S60 with a beige leather interior. I can't wait to get home and drive it.

I feel like I haven't posted in a million years

2008-03-26T10:07:00.004-04:00

It's been a while anyways. 2 weeks. Maybe 3. It's definitely a while for me considering I was posting at least every other day.

Anyways, welcome back to the show.

Lots of things have been going on lately. I recently visited Indiana University for a tour of the department of chemistry. I liked it a lot. Enough that I might decide to go there instead of U of Georgia. The thing that really struck me was how willing Indiana's department was to have me visit on a weekend (Easter weekend at that), have professors in on Saturday for me to meet with, and find students to show me around all day. Professors from UGA won't even respond to my e-mails, and I feel like this is an indicator of what my future would be like there. IU's not bad. There's no doubt that Bloomington is a college town, even though the population is 80,000 not including college students. That's twice the size of East Hartford. Also, if I go to IU I might be able to do the North Carolina beach house thing since the semester starts a week later.

No matter where I go, my last day at this job is going to be April 25th. The day after my birthday, coincidentally. I'm going to spend the month of May getting my shit in order to move out (and without a doubt, playing a ton of golf), then at some point in June, I'm gone. I'm excited to go, but over the past year I've gotten to reconnect with so many old friends. It'll be hard to say goodbye again.

In other news, I am so close to buying a car. In fact, it could happen today, in only a few hours. A guy I know through my mechanic/ semi-uncle (father's brother's wife's brother) is at the East Windsor car auction today. There is a black 2004 Volvo s60 and a color-unknown 2005 Volvo s40, one of which could be mine by day's end. I slept with my fingers crossed because through the auction, I'd be getting either one of these cars at a steal price. I'm just real excited to upgrade from the 1991 Buick Shitbucket. (It only looks like a shitbucket. It runs well for a '91).

That's it for now. I watched a movie last night that I'm considering reviewing, but you'll have to check back later to find out what it was.

No Country For Old Men: A somewhat complete analysis

2008-03-13T14:55:00.001-04:00

Disclaimer: If you haven't seen No Country For Old Men, first of all I'm sorry for you. Go to the movie store and rent it immediately. Second of all, you probably do not want to read this post. I will discuss many important parts of the film including the ending.

Last night I saw No Country For Old Men for a second time, and I have to say that I enjoyed it even more. But before last night, I still thought There Will Be Blood was the better movie. I think I was wrong. No Country is as close to perfection as I think a movie can get, although many people hate the ending for some reason.

The movie opens with Tommy Lee Jones' character, Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, talking about sheriffs-past in different areas of Texas. Many of them didn't carry guns because in those days and places, packing heat wasn't necessary. The camera shows us the gorgeous vistas of West Texas (the movie was mostly filmed in New Mexico). The movie immediately takes on a Western feel. One review I read described No Country as a new school Western, a fitting categorization. It has all the elements of a Western- "the ultimate badass" outlaw in Anton Chigurh; the bareness of the wild west; the gun fight in the empty city streets. The Coen brothers masterfully bring that sense of lawlessness to a time when supposedly there is law and order.

The standard film elements- shot composition, cinematography and editing are flawless. Every image is crisp and beautiful, every transition seamless. For example, early in the film, while Moss (Josh Brolin) is out hunting, he spots a hobbling dog. Cut to the far away shot of four or five pickup trucks with open doors and no people. Cut to Moss at the scene amongst the dead bodies (and a dead dog). Then begin my favorite sequence. Moss starts heading along the tire tracks which you can faintly see amongst the tall grass, cut to him spotting a tree where he believes the man with the money would've stopped, cut to him at the tree, standing over the dead man. From there he is instantly at his car, instantly home, and instantly inside talking to his wife. Not a second is wasted. It's glorious.

This is so crucial throughout the movie. The camera never at any point shows us anything we don't need to see. In the beginning every detail of Chigurh's killing is shown to us, but by the end we know what has happened, and the insignifcant shots of the killings themselves are left out. First Carson Wells (a name directly from the wild west, and also played by Woody Harrelson of all people) is shot on screen, but we aren't even sure he's been shot until the blood starts creeping across the floor towards Anton's feet- the immediate cut to him nonchalantly leaning back and putting his feet up to avoid getting any on his shoes is priceless. In one of the final scenes, Chigurh meets Moss's wife, asks her to call the coin toss, and is then standing outside checking the bottoms of his shoes, indicating that the deed has been done.

So why does this movie have the title it does? Well I think that if you imagine Sheriff Bell as the focal point it makes a lot more sense. The opening scene he tells us that it used to be a real easy life. His demeanor throughout the film emphasizes his old-school attitude. He shoots the breeze with everyone, even when he's trying to get information. When he and his young deputy enter Moss's trailer, the deputy with his gun drawn asks Sheriff Bell why he doesn't have his gun drawn. He says he doesn't need it because he's not going in first. Eventually, Bell does draw his gun, just before he enters the motel room where Moss has been murdered, because he fears Chigurh is lurking inside. I think it is at this moment that Bell realizes that the world of 1980 is too much for him to bear. (Whether Chigurh was inside or not, is debatable. It is possible that the cut of Chigurh hiding behind the door is simply a visualization of Sheriff Bell's thoughts, because when the door opens, it opens all the way to wall and Chigurh is nowhere to be found, but this entire scene is debatable).

The final 20 minutes of No Country appears to revolve around fate. A variation of the line, "a man cannot escape what's coming to him," is spoken several times by numerous characters. It leads up to the final scene in Sheriff Bell's house. He's talking about his dreams. He dreamed of his father, who died at 20 years younger than Bell's current age. I think the dream he describes is a metaphor for death, but more so, the death of the old way of life. The life that he knew.

My ADD just hit...hard

2008-03-11T14:13:00.003-04:00

Wow. I've gone through periods where I couldn't focus, but just now my ADD went into overdrive. I can barely focus on writing this. I'm not sure why but the most work I can get done right now is basically staring at nothing. This is kind of a strange feeling, being acutely aware of my total inability to concentrate on my work right now. So many people want to buy Yankees' tickets. So many people have called me today. I think I'm going to golf soon. Very soon. Like maybe next week. If that happens I will be as happy as two peas in a stapler. Or whatever they say. Wait, I know what they say:

Don't scratch your own back with the hand that wipes your butt. Or is it ass?

Steve McQueen invented the bucket seat

2008-03-11T09:44:00.003-04:00

Saturday night on my way to Ryan, Rich and Mike's party I picked up Davitt. And wouldn't you know that the first thing Davitt says to me when he gets into my car is, "Steve McQueen invented the bucket seat." If anyone other than Davitt were telling me this I would've thought it was odd. But Davitt is the guy that knows those kinds of things so I've come to expect to hear interesting/bizarre bits of information whenever I'm with him. (Who knows what I'll learn during an entire weekend in Michigan.)

So to make a long story short, I was watching Jeopardy! last night like I always do. Final jeopardy came up. I don't know what the category was but the clue literally baffled me. It was something like, "This actor of the 60's didn't win an Oscar, but he was awarded a patent for inventing a racing style bucket seat."

SERIOUSLY?!

I yelled, "Oh My God! Davitt just told me this the other day!" And of course I remembered it was Steve McQueen.

I immediately determined that this was more evidence to support the Brains-in-a-vat theory of reality. I.e. nothing is real, I'm just making it all up or someone is making it up for me by poking my brain with a stick of some sort. It reminded me of the time that I got that Bazooka Joe comic, and before I had a chance to read the fortune, Jeff snatched it away from me and read aloud, "This is not your fortune."

Why does the world play tricks on me like this?

You can't make this up

2008-03-10T12:00:00.002-04:00

This story in the New York Times today is just too funny. Apparently the state of Montana can marry people through something called double-proxy weddings. The bride and groom don't even have to be there. Instead they just have two random people who accept the vows and say, "I do," a judge, a lawyer and a witness.

Some more bullshit

2008-03-06T11:26:00.000-05:00

I'm getting a new car soon I think. I ran the numbers and i think I'll be able to afford it while I'm at school, making $22K a year. Luckily I'll be in Georgia (most likely) where most things are dirt cheap.

What's the deal with spider solitaire having points? It seems that every time I win, I have a point total in a range of about 200 points, about 1100-1300 points. I don't get it.

I've got some more material for Comedy Night. I hope it happens soon.

Fantasy Baseball

2008-03-04T14:51:00.002-05:00

If you want to be in a fantasy baseball money league, please let me know and give me your e-mail. It is mostly people from Drew but don't hesitate if you're not. We're playing for $40 or $50 probably and the winner will likely get $400-$500. Last year was a lot of fun.

Something I don't understand

2008-03-04T13:35:00.003-05:00

The lede of the lead editorial in the New York Times today was both poignant and disturbing, but ultimately true.

From San Diego on the Pacific to Brownsville on the Rio Grande, a steel curtain is descending across the continent. Behind it lies a nation so confused and conflicted by its immigration problems that it has decided to wall itself off and wait for things to fix themselves. This country once was a confident global magnet for an invigorating flow of immigrant workers and citizens-to-be. Now it is just hunkering.

The article goes on to say how the building of a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border is utterly ridiculous- which it is. I just don't understand the people who are in this odd group- Conservative Republicans- that is hell-bent on chasing down all the illegal immigrants in America, giving them a firm scolding, and then sending them off to wherever they came from, er, well, anywhere outside the U.S.

The idea of actually removing every illegal alien from this country is sort of amusing. People are missing the point that when they're gone, the country will be a lot less economically productive simply because they are doing jobs that most people don't want to.

Anyways check out the article. I strongly advocate reading the editorial section everyday.

The mystery of hockey

2008-03-03T13:14:00.002-05:00

I thought of a real conundrum of the sports world over the weekend. Isn't it ironic that ice hockey has been the retarded brother of the football, baseball, and basketball in this country forever. Yet America's single greatest sports moment (and single greatest highlight as determined in a completely valid bracket-style tournament of highlights on ESPN) is from a hockey game.

Does that seem weird to anyone besides me?

I'm referring to the 1980 winter Olympics of course. The legendary game known as the "Miracle on Ice." I wasn't even alive in 1980, but the awe associated with that game literally gave me goosebumps as I typed out those words. If you haven't seen Miracle, I think you should.

Oh God this is funny

2008-02-29T18:10:00.000-05:00

This is hilarious

Prison Blues

2008-02-29T10:04:00.003-05:00

Americans apparently have a prison fetish. Why do I say that? Because more than 1 out of every 100 American adults are in jail. There are more people in American jails than in Chinese jails - 1.5 million- total, and there are 5.5 times as many citizens.

The thing that is most appalling is that 1 out of 15 black people are in jail and even more sickening, 1 out of every 8 black men between ages 20 and 34 are behind bars, and 3.5 times as many black women age 35 to 39 as white women. Last night I was told that there are more black men in prison than in college.

I'm not sure how to interpret this. Is the system that screwed up? I knew it was fucked when I read last year about the population growth of American jails and the overcrowding in them. But seriously, if a black person is 6 times as likely to go to jail than the average American, something is wrong.

The way Al Pacino says "Fuck You"

2008-02-27T09:09:00.006-05:00

It's as distinct as the smell that wafts off a computer nerd who hasn't showered in days. It's like a combination of "Fuck you," and "Fock You," and the way Al rattles it off sounds like FuuUUckk You." It's beau-tee-ful. And he always says it the same way in every movie, and he says it in every movie. God talk about a one trick pony. Guy's whole career is really based on the way he can say "fuck you."

Hearing Al Pacino say fuck you makes me want to go to the mall and buy a black Scarface T-shirt that comes down to my knees, and while I'm walking I'm definitely gonna pick up one of those photoshopped pastel psuedo-drawing portraits. That's real art man.

Anyone remember the old days of MTV cribs when Sisqo said, "You gotta have the Scarface in the DVD collection,"?

Terri Five-0

2008-02-26T16:43:00.003-05:00

There is woman at work named Terri, and very frequently she gets paged over the intercom. some thing like, "Terri five-oh, Terri 5-0." But every time the receptionist says that over the intercom, all I hear is Terry Schiavo. Not the kid from Drew though. The coma lady.

Also sometimes she pages Walter Berk or possibly Berg.

My visit to Georgia Tech

2008-02-26T09:12:00.003-05:00

If given the chance- i.e. I haven't actually been officially accepted to GT yet- I will be heading there in the fall. Hopefully sooner.

I could tell you about the program, but you probably wouldn't care. The weather was great. 65 and sunny on Monday. They say it gets hot and humid in the summer, but they also tell me you can play golf year round. Count me in.

Hotlanta + Me = Hotlanta!

The prospect of 4 pro sports teams is great. May be I can get Falcons tickets. Maybe I can get Braves tickets. Georgia Tech has an 82,000 person football stadium and a much smaller basketball stadium. All I'm saying is, admit me, and am I'll be in Atlanta ASAP.

The best movie you've never heard of

2008-02-22T13:20:00.003-05:00

It's called Glengarry Glen Ross. Maybe you have heard of it It was a box office megabomb (grossed $10M, cost $12M to make) but was critcally well received. Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey, Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris, Alan Arkin, Alec Baldwin and Jonathan Pryce.
Like what you hear so far?

Glengarry Glen Ross is based on a play by David Mamet, and the movie is a lot like a play on screen. The script is like a gift from heaven, and the actors make it sound like a poem or a jazz concert. Al Pacino is the hotshot salesman with a knack for swindling people into buying property they can't afford. Jack Lemmon is the veteran who's fell on a string of bad luck. Ed Harris plays a rogue emloyee who plots to rob the office. Alan Arkin is more of a straight shooter and a yes-man than anything. Kevin Spacey is the hard ass office manager, and Alec Baldwin is a young executive sent by the company presidents to motivate the sales squad. There isn't a single female character. I think that's supposed to show that it's a man's world or whatever.
Some reviews I read on Netflix say that the film will only be interesting to people who find sales and Wall Street and the like interesting. I couldn't disagree more. Glengarry Glen Ross has as universal of a message as anything I've seen. It's about desparate actions in the face of adversity. It's a movie for anyone who works for a living.

Who am I kidding? I don't know what it's about. I know you you should see it though.

How Grandma Views the Remote

2008-02-20T10:04:00.003-05:00

I found this image on Digg- a great compiler site for internet garbage- the other day. I immediately thought of Grandma being totally baffled by the remote control. This picture has made me laugh uncontrollably.

Last night I was over Jeff's. He was telling me about helping Fleury's mother use a computer. She apparently has never used one. I just got to thinking, what would it be like to not be able to use a computer? Sort of like thinking what it would be like to not be able to read. The mind is a crazy thing, and it seems crazy the older people have such difficulty grasping something as simple as a remote control.

Crash

2008-02-18T17:49:00.004-05:00

It's sad how racist America is, even after all of the trials and tribulations of our country's history. Crash is a movie that emphasizes this, but shows us that with every day we grow a little more as people.

The movie details the lives of numerous people over the course of 36 hours in Los Angeles. A District Attorney and his wife, the trigger-happy LAPD, two carjackers, a convenience store owner, a locksmith, a movie director, their families, and the racial injustices they each face on account of one another. Paul Haggis' direction is really marvelous. He molds each character into full-fleshed human beings from racists and criminals, so mush so that you end up caring about each one of them just as much as the other.

The first day sets up the importance or visibility of race in L.A. Many of the characters appear to be defined by their race. In many cases it seems like these characters' race defines them more than any other aspect of their lives.

At some point during the second day it appears that there is an attempt to turn over a new leaf. Some of them appear to be ready to pay reparations in a way for what they've done wrong. Each character goes through something very personal which is why each person undergoes this transformation.

But just when it appears that all is going to end well, many of them return to their old habits, very much like a battle with an addiction. And it's upsetting because, well, racisim is upsetting.

Somewhere on Netflix someone wrote that the ending is climactic. It isn't. At the end we get the sense that not everyone has changed but we are left with hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day for the people in this country. Hope that we can eventually all live together in peace.

Oh almost forgot. Tony Danza makes an epic cameo. Relatively.

Charles Barkley...sigh...

2008-02-18T00:31:00.005-05:00

I am a huge Charles Barkley fan as in, I think he's hilariously dumb. I just watched this video on YouTube where he is interviewed by CNN about politics.

WTF? Why the hell is anyone interested in his opinion on anything other than basketball or food. Complete video is below followed by my favorite retarded moments.

"I'm rich like a Republican. I've never voted for a Republican. I'm actually an Independent. I supported John Edwards last time."

"Whoever the president is, he's gonna have tons of advisers. It ain't like the president get to make decisions on his own."

"The word 'conservative' makes me stick to my stomach."

"I'm gonna vote Democratic no matter what!"

Charles: I promise you I will run for Governor of Alabama in 2014.
Wolf: And when will you run for Governor?
Charles: Explains rules for being governor of Alabama

"They're not supposed to judge people but their the most hypcritical judge o' people we have in this country, and it bugs the hell outta me..."

"They can't do anything to me. I don't work for them."

They should read the part about where they're not supposed to judge other people."

All-Star Festivities

2008-02-17T11:51:00.008-05:00

Fred just told me he thought the Dunk Contest was lame. WHAT?!

Unfortunately this video didn't even show the best dunk, where Howard caught tapped the ball off the backboard with his left hand then dunked it with his right.

Jason Kapono won the 3-point contest. As someone wrote on a message board on ESPN, he'll probably keep playing 10 minutes a game.

I watched about 10 minutes total of the actual game, because Breaking Bad, my new favorite show was on (Sundays 10:00, AMC). I read that LeBron James was MVP. Lame. This is what happens when you let people vote for this stuff. They probably could've just given him the trophy at the beginning of the season.

Anyways, just 30 more games before the NBA is interesting again.

A post from Ted's blackberry

2008-02-15T19:44:00.000-05:00

Ted got gay new blackberry and has been showing it off like a real homo. So now we're in this sweet mexican joint and I decided to post this. Service here is great.

Arriba-derchi!

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

2008-02-14T16:50:00.002-05:00

Just got the self-titled album by the band Vampire Weekend. Listened to it three times today it's so good. I can't describe how much I love this album. Laid back, melodic. It's great. Get it as soon as you possibly can.

Semantic Satiation?

2008-02-13T20:05:00.003-05:00

You will get it after reading this Wikipedia entry about why "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a grammatically correct sentence. Thanks to Baseball Toaster for the link.

The past few days I've watched too many movies

2008-02-13T15:00:00.008-05:00

A Sunday followed + being home sick on a Monday = lots of movies watched.

On Sunday I watched Stand By Me. I was expecting a little more because in 10th grade Dave Deyette told me it was his favorite movie. Notwithstanding, I thought it was a good flick. Four young boys go on an adventure to find the body of a dead kid who had been hit by a train. The acting by the young stars was way ahead of their years. River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell and Will Wheaton were magnificent. John Cusack and Keifer Sutherland also have roles, and I think the face of Jack Bauer really kept me from loving this movie. I just couldn't get over the fact that even as a kid, Keifer Sutherland only played badass characters. Anyways great movie. See it.
Monday morning I watched Carlito's Way, starring Al Pacino as a Puerto Rican ex-gangster Carlito Brigante, fresh out of jail and looking to right his path and stay clean. But at every corner his past was haunting him, trying to drag him back into a life of crime. Sean Penn is terrific and nearly unrecognizable as Carlito's coke-head lawyer Dave Kleinfeld. Penelope Ann Miller plays Carlito's former lover Gail, he desperately wants what Carlito wants, a clean life free of drugs, violence and crime. One scene that reveals so much of their past and foreshadows his future involves Carlito and Gail arguing over why he has to help Dave break one of his clients out of prison. Carlito smashes the bathroom mirror with his hand. Gail helps him wipe the blood away and says, "This is the last time I clean your blood off of you." Viggo Mortnesen's very brief role was great as well. Another "See it."

I slept about 3 hours Monday afternoon and then watched Super Size Me, the documentary of Morgan Spurlock's 30 day McDonald's binge. I wanted to puke so much watching him eat all that garbage. It made a lot of points about how dastardly the food industry is (I work in it), how despicable the lobbyists are, and about how America's kids eat so poorly in school. Not to mention how fat Americans are. You can't help but cringe when the images of women's cellulite-infested asses are shown. Barf. See it.

Finally last night I watched Misery. Kathy Bates was horrifying, even more horrifying than her nude scene in About Schmidt. And that was severely fucking disturbing. Her ability to go from sweet to weird to crazy to possessed was incredible. I think I may have prayed for James Caan while I watched. And the scene where she "hobbles" him by bashing his ankles with a sledge hammer made me sweat. See it.

Movie Drinking Games

2008-02-13T13:42:00.001-05:00

I just found this site that has a pretty huge collection of drinking game rules for many movies

ESPN, you make my heart cry

2008-02-12T21:41:00.005-05:00

Maybe I should've known what I was getting when I decided to rent The Bronx is Burning on Netflix. Has ESPN ever made a worthwhile TV show? Of course not, although Archer will try to convince you that Playmakers was good (haven't seen it yet). But then again, who wouldn't love a show where the main character is a pain-killer-addicted Omar Gooding. Yes Omar Gooding from Wild and Crazy Kids.
Really the only reason I liked The Bronx is Burning is because it was about the Yankees. Other than that, the show was trash. 8 episodes is too little time to cram that whole year into, especially when way too much time is being spent on Son of Sam and NYC mayoral elections. I was so happy when they finally caught David Berkowitz, because it meant that some air time would actually be devoted to the 1977 baseball season.

What really upset me, which I know is classic ESPN fashion, was the hideous use of authentic footage at all the wrong times. It's OK when you are showing scenes of people looting stores during the blackout of 1977, but it's not OK when you want to put Daniel Sunjata (as Reggie Jackson) on top of scenes of fans in the stands. It made the whole thing look a lot less authentic. Which leads me to my next point. Why were there some moments when it appeared that the video editor had used Microsoft Movie Maker in order to [poorly] make the video quality look old and worn, and other times when the quality looked like The Revenge of the Sith, THX Lucasfilm shit? Bush League.
The show is about the tumultuous bizarro love triangle of Billy Martin, Reggie Jackson, and George Steinbrenner. Unfortunately, none of the other team members were developed enough. There were many hints at possible side-plots, but none of them were ever seen through.

Argh. I was incredibly disappointed by this. I rated it three stars on Netflix only because I love the Yankees. Maybe I would've appreciated it more if I'd lived through it.

I geuss we'll just throw this one in the bargain bin with the likes of Tilt and that movie about Dale Earnhardt.

The 50th Post

2008-02-12T15:37:00.000-05:00

This is the 50th Post. Yea!

The Office vs. The Office

2008-02-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

I've seen all 12 episodes of the original, BBC version of The Office, all of what was made besides the 2-hour special that came out after the series ended, and I've seen about 85-90% of the episodes of the American version. The American version is probably one of my favorite shows to date. Pity only half of this season's episodes have been made.

Pretty much everyone knows that the American version was based on the UK version, and the pilot for the American was created directly from an episode of the British. Despite their similarities, the shows are immensely different.

First off, the British wit of the UK version of the Office is what I would typically expect from the Britons: dry. There were plenty of times when I wasn't even sure if I was supposed to laugh at something. A lot of the punchlines are muttered and if you aren't paying close attention, you might miss something. On the other hand, the NBC version is mostly up-front jokes, obviously because the Brits are a much smarter breed than us.

The UK version and the American version (first three seasons) more or less have the same storyline. The UK version is about 40 episodes less however. This comes at the expense of side character development (where are the Creeds and Stanleys of the BBC version) and pop-culture references. These are some of the most important aspects of the American Office.

The UK version is much more awkward, and in a way, painful. The boss, David Brent played by Ricky Gervais is incredibly lost. Much like Michael Scott in the American version, he is offensive to almost everyone and yet totally unaware of it. David Brent though, is almost never lovable like Steve Carrell's character. Most of the time I wanted to punch him in the face, to put him out of his misery and to spare the sanity of everyone else.

Garreth Keenan, the British equivalent of Dwight Schrute is pretty hilarious.
I guess he's a more believable character than Dwight. I mean, I don't think a person like Dwight exists, at least not as a part of the work force. Garreth's sexual innuendos lack any innuendo. He is blatant and stupid and the result if pure comedy. One instance is at the bar one night after work. Garreth has been making out with some woman all night, and eventually he asks who the chap is theat's been staring at them the whole time. The woman says it's her husband and they want to bring Garreth home. Garreth's response is pure gold and I will paraphrase: "No way. Maybe if it were two women but definitely not two guys." GENIUS!And that smirk that David Brent has on his face the whole time is pretty creepy.

The American Office has one vitally important thing that the British Office doesn't: Jenna Fischer. Sorry UK, Dawn is gross. Pam is hot.

If I had to pick one, my completely biased decision would be the American version, but that might just be because that's the one I watched first and came to love.

You can read all about the history of the show on Wikipedia.

This man's name is Max Irving

2008-02-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

I was talking to Max last night about how LA is. He told me he met Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, and that now he's going by Max Irving, so if you see him in a movie someday and then see his name is Max Irving, laugh at him.

I think it's bloody hysterical

I finally got to ski

2008-02-10T12:59:00.000-05:00

I went skiing with Matt yesterday at Ski Sundown in New Hartford. I've wanted to go skiing since last winter, and it was the first time I've been since I snowboarded on a ski trip in 8th grade.

I am incredibly, but not surprisingly, sore today.

Skiing was so much fun. I actually wasn't too bad and for the most part felt really in control. I spent a good amount of time on the bunny slopes and after I did that a few times without falling, I went up to the summit for a litter green circle action. The trail was mostly flat until the end when it got really steep. I tried that steep part 5 times over the course of the day and sadly never made it down without falling at least twice.

I'm excited to go again. If anyone wants to go, let me know and we'll hook it up.

In unrelated news, when I got home I ordered Chinese for dinner and paid the delivery man from Momo-Taro with $4 in change. HAHA.

Type rest of the post here

Mitt Romney: Republican Party savior?

2008-02-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Mitt Romney...

Wait a second. What the hell kind of a name is Mitt? He must be a Mor-mung. His son's name is Tagg which is equally weird. His father's name is George which is a pretty normal name.

Anyways, yesterday Mitt Romney gave the Republican party a huge leg up on the Presidential election by throwing his hat out of the ring into the stands like the Rock right before delivering "The People's Elbow." That's right, Big Mitt is out of the race. Now John McCain is the Republican nominee-apparent unless Tenet can gather some support for Ron Paul by publicly announcing their endorsement. Just remember, Ron Paul is a psychopath.

This move could potentially be terrible for the Democrats. Obama v. Hillary has a long course to run before we even have any idea who will be the nominee. For the time being, McCain will be like a baseball bat-wielding maniac attacking babies in the nursery ward of an empty hospital. Totally unopposed, he will be able to bludgeon them like Rudy Giuliani bludgeoned the poor.
Conservatives hate John McCain because he's too moderate. But don't think that Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter are heading to the polls and voting for Hillary Clinton. I'm hoping that this Democratic race wraps itself sooner than later because the longer it goes, the better the chances are that we'll have Republican in office for 4 more years and we'll be in Iraq for another 10. I'm all for Obama, but I'd rather see Hillary win soon than Obama win in August. I think there's a better chance for a Clinton/Obama ticket than an Obama/Clinton ticket anyways, even though I'd like Obama/Richardson the best I think.

2 hours and 45 minutes of my life spent scratching my head

2008-02-07T11:13:00.001-05:00

This is really what I was doing most of the time while watch Once Upon A Time In the West last night. First of all the move was way too long. So much of it was spent in a silence, characters making very slow, subtle movements. Suspense that never paid off.

I didn't have the foggiest idea what was happening almost any of the time. The plot was very complicated, so much so that even by the end, you don't really have a clue of why any of what you just watched happened.

The only redeeming quality was the epic scenery (most of the film was shot in Arizona and Texas I believe).

I wouldn't recommend this unless you are a Westerns buff. If you are, please recommend some for me.

Type rest of the post here

As far back as I can remember

2008-02-06T14:21:00.000-05:00

I saw Goodfellas last night. I'm pretty sure I was the last person on the planet to see it. I'm not even going to review it because everyone has already seen it. I feel like a great weight has been lifted.

Super Tuesday

2008-02-05T14:27:00.000-05:00

Today's been a crazy day. I've never felt so down at work. Since I woke up this morning, it's been like a huge weight has been pressing down on me. I've had no energy all day and I've felt extremely pessimistic. The weight's name is Watson Inc. I've never felt so much anxiety about this job, and wanted to be here so little. I'm sick of this place. What a massive drain this job has been on me today. I've wanted to leave since around 10 am (at that point I'd only been here for an hour and a half) and the hours have dragged on since then. I can't believe it's only 3:30.

A couple things have happened this week and last week that are making yearn for grad school so much. Last week I spent the majority of the week using a make-believe test to determine a certain something of a certain something. Monday, half my work had been erased from my computer and then other half was done (supposedly) incorrectly. Now when i say incorrectly I mean to my boss's liking. What a stickler for details!

I hate this job. If I didn't need the money I don't know what I'd do. I'm just tired of spending all day being miserable about being here. It's not healthy, and it certainly doesn't help me get through the day. I can't wait until April 15th (give or take a few days). My contract at this God forsaken place will be up and I'll know which school I'm going to.

Anyone got any jobs you can give me?

The best football game I've ever seen

2008-02-04T20:14:00.000-05:00

Super Bowl XLII will no doubt go down in history as one of the greatest games of all time. I can only think of one other game, the 2006 Rose Bowl between Texas and Southern California. But that game was missing one crucial factor, defense. Both the Giants and the Patriots played tremendous defense, which probably goes without saying since the score was 7-3 after 3 quarters.

Super Bowl XLII was epic on every level.

So many great stories came out of this game. Eli Manning finally got out of his brother's shadow. The Giants' pass rush was absolutely dominant. The best QB in the NFL struggled. Randy Moss was silenced by a backup. Michael Strahan and Amani Toomer finally got their rings. The dreams of 19-0 came crashing down in just 60 minutes.The most overlooked aspect was the great tackling by both teams. How many times did New England run that HB screen to Lawrence Maroney, or a short pass to Wes Welker (who've made names for themselves through their ability to break tackless) only to see it shut down for a short gain? How many times did a Giants receiver make a catch just shy of the line to gain, only to be shut down by Rodney Harrison short of the first down? Tackling is so important in the super bowl because of the level of talent of most of the offensive players. Maroney was able to run wild on San Diego and Jacksonville but the Giants held him to just 36 yards on the ground. It was plays like Sam Madison's shoe string tackle on Kevin Faulk that were such a huge factor.

Tackling is what won the game for the Giants, especially tackling Brady in the backfield 5 times.

When the Pats had the ball with 4 minutes to go and threatening to score I thought the game was over. I thought the Giants were going to have to use all their timeouts before the Pats did the inevitable and put it in the endzone. Even when the Giants took over with 2:30 to go, I didn't think they'd pull it off, until the play of the game happened. I'm not sure which end was more spectacular, Eli evading five guys, and staying on his feet long enough to get outside the pocket, or David Tyree's insane catch using only one hand and his helmet.
I'm glad the Giants won. I'm glad the Patriots lost and their perfect season went down the shitter. More than anything, I'm glad I got to watch an amazing football game.

P.S. I didn't really care for Tom Petty. I'm a fan by all means, but I thought he was boring and unoriginal.

Your favorite Super Bowl commercials

2008-02-04T15:29:00.000-05:00

Which Super Bowl commercials were your favorites? Mine were:

The Audi ad with the scene straight out of The Godfather introducing this incredibly sexy Audi.

The Planters cashews commercial with the unibrow chick who with the cashew fetish.

A Saab commercial (possibly Audi) with a screaming squirrel, Alice Cooper, and Richard Simmons.

E-Trade had that one with this vomiting baby.And I can't forget that Victoria's Secret ad with this sexy lady.

Post your favorites here.

Hate to say I told you so...

2008-02-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

...but I told you so.

The best offensive line in the game was manhandled.

The best QB in the game was outplayed.

The best coaching staff in the game was outcoached.

The best team won.

Balloon creations

2008-02-03T17:34:00.001-05:00

This site is awesome. Pictures of awesome balloon creations like a clown makes. My favorites are the Snow White costume and the thing with all the hands.

The Third Hike

2008-02-03T11:19:00.000-05:00

Jeff put a link to this video in a recent comment and I thought everyone should see it.

"Care for a little necrophilia?"

2008-02-01T11:15:00.000-05:00

If you've seen 12 Monkeys, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, or Monty Python, you've seen something made by Terry Gilliam. I had no clue who he was until about 5 minutes ago. If you haven't seen Brazil, you are missing out. It's a dark comedy about a dystopian future society filled with red tape and bureaucracy.

Man seems to have lost all sense of responsibility. Every action is determined by a strict set of rules and paperwork - which of course must be filled out in the proper manner. In society's quest to perfect living, they have seemed to only make things more error prone, but the characters refuse to believe that mistakes are possible. One error, caused by a bug falling into a printing press of sorts actually leads to a man's execution. People only seem to be held accountable for maintaining inconsequential pleasantries.

People are terrified by the threat of terrorist attacks, but explosions are so commonplace people don't seem to mind them. My God, there were so many explosions. Steve and I hypothesized that the producers had money left over in their budget and decided to blow some shit up.

The main character, Sam Lowry, played by Jonathan Pryce, is an aimless member of this society. He's content with his mid-level job with the Ministry of Information, and isn't inspired to become anything. His only dreams are the ones he has while asleep, but these start to blend with real life and eventually become his real-life aspirations.
It's a pretty typical post-modern society like 1984 or The Matrix where everything is run by a central entity. It also reminded me of Fight Club. Lowry's hopes to escape the monster that is Brazil requires him to reject all of the systematization and documentation in order to escape and find out the truth about himself.

It's one of those movies where you really have to think a lot. Everything is symbolic in some way, and analyzing all of it while keeping track of myriad characters can be daunting at times. It is almost a good idea to pause it a couple times to discuss what the hell has been happening.

Robert DeNiro has a bit part as a renegade heating engineer. Boivin and I found ourselves yearning for more of him.I loved it because it made me laugh, and left me thinking. I would recommend it to most people.

When "moments" are not actually moments

2008-01-31T18:54:00.000-05:00

Some mornings before I leave for work I pop on ESPN2 to watch Mike and Mike for about 10 minutes. I used to listen to them much more, but slowly became totally fed up with their, as Jeff put it, forced chemistry. Not to mention they are both idiots.

This morning they were doing a countdown list of the Top 25 Super Bowl Moments. These two love talking about lists because it makes them feel like real sports experts. So they're going through number 6-10. Scott Norwood missed that field goal. Jackie Smith dropped the EASY TD pass in the endzone. John Elway's helicopter manuever.

And then they get to "John Riggins rushes for 166 yards." OK, the first three I mentioned were moments. Plays. This one was over the course of an entire game. And it made me realize that whoever's writing this shit for ESPN has mushed bananas for brains.

Saying John Riggins rushing for 166 yards is one of the great Super Bowl moments is like me saying Kindergarten was the greatest moment of my life. I understand that 'moment' can mean many things. But let's be serious here.

Something else that pisses me off in much the same way is on Sundays or Mondays or whatever day, when Chris Berman does his Top 10 plays. Half of the "plays" are entire games, and he just sits there and screams "WHAAP" in a pitch that no man should be able to reach.

I'm sick and tired of ESPN. Most of their programming is horrible. If there were other options I'd probably explore them, but I can't deal with the piss poor video quality of Fox Sports Network. Just wait til the day that ESPN has the rights to the Super Bowl! It's not enough that they took MNF. In reality, it's no better than the NFL Network, except that most households already have cable and thus ESPN.

Van Buren Boys

2008-01-31T11:34:00.001-05:00

Jeff just reminded me of one of the greatest punk bands ever from East Hartford, The Van Buren Boys. We had three songs, two of which were just covers. The other was an original. The performance was taped by Sarah Hut-Hut-Hikeler, and it took place in my basement at my 17th birthday party. The concert was totally impromptu and featured full sets by While Preparing Dinner Edna Accidentally Opened Up a Can of Whoopass and Robot Clean.

That was the best birthday party ever.

I'm writing a book

2008-01-29T13:45:00.000-05:00

It's called How to Waste 10 Minutes of Your Life.

The only page will say, "Ask my boss any question."

I have now lost all motivation to get anything done today.

Why the Giants will beat the Pats

2008-01-29T11:45:00.000-05:00

M-O-M-E-N-T-U-M. The Giants have it. If I had to name two NFC teams that I thought had a chance of beating the Pats before the playoffs started, I would've said Dallas and Green Bay. Guess what. The Giants just beat them both back-to-back.

So far no one I know has said they thought the Giants have any chance of winning Super Bowl XLII. As a matter of fact, Boivin said with full conviction that no only do they not have a chance, but they are going to get blown out. I disagree.

On paper, New England is no doubt the best team. Best QB, best WR core, 4th ranked defense, arguably the best coaching, and a beast of a RB. No question there. They're 18-0, he first team ever to start a season that way, and probably one of the three best teams in the history of the NFL.

But the game is played on the field.

It's just plain stupid that the Pats are favored by 12 points.

The G-Men have all the components that a team needs to win a Super Bowl, but more importantly, to beat the Patriots: A killer pass rush anchors a defense that has been playing so tight. A terrific running game featuring the biggest, bruisingest RB in the NFL and a speedy, home-run hitting rookie. Receivers that have taken advantage of some of the NFL's best pass coverages.

And Eli's been playing pretty well too.

There's a good chance I'll end up eating these words, but there's a good chance that I'll be right too. And although it doesn't really matter, I'm always glad when I see on the Bottom Line on ESPN that only 59.5% of "Sports Nation" thinks the Patriots will win.

A day of movies

2008-01-28T14:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I saw two very different movies. The first was Rescue Dawn, the Werner Herzog-directed Vietnam feature, starring Christian Bale as a U.S. bomber pilot turned P.O.W. The second was There Will Be Blood, nominated for eight academy awards including best actor (Daniel Day-Lewis) and best picture. I loved both.

Rescue Dawn was great because very rarely does a movie evoke such a wide array of emotions at their extremes. Happiness and grief, sheer terror and anger. Christian Bale is fantastic and inspiring, and Steve Zahn is equally wonderful as a prisoner-gone-mad.

There Will Be Blood was one of the most amazing movies I've seen this year. I mean in the past year, not in 2008. I've pretty much seen 3 movies in 2008.

Danieal Day-Lewis was amazing. His character, Daniel Plainview is a heartless and ruthless (without Ruth, my grandmother) businessmen with an incredible mustache. It reminds me of Citizen Kane, whose title character, Charles Foster Kane is obsessed with his material possessions. But Kane longs for Rosebud, his youth, which is not a part of Plainviews' M.O. in the least. Plainview only desires for more. More wealth. More land. More oil. And at any expense.

Day-Lewis's portrayal is stunning. He creates a character who on his facade is an honest man who prefers "plain speaking," and often, Day-Lewis makes us believe that. But so often we see Plainview go to great lengths, including personally humiliating himself in front of a congregation. This was one of the most poignant scenes, although it was hilarious. Plainview agrees to be baptized. He accepts the blood of Christ and admits to abandoning his son. At no other point in the film do we believe that Plainview is being fully truthful, but we come to find out otherwise. Daniel Day-Lewis's ability to make his character seem honest and dishonest, good and evil, all at once is remarkable.It can't go without saying that the film's original soundtrack, composed by Jonny Greenwood (the guitarist from Radiohead), is paramount. At the opening it is overly cacophonous, giving the impression of impending doom. Throughout Blood, the music makes us feel as if we are constantly building towards something, with great tension. At points, the soundtrack is so crucial that without it, we might not even get a sense of what is coming. It's an inner monologue of sorts, because without it, we would only be seeing Plainview's strictly-business front.

There Will Be Blood is not only about Plainview's thirst for fortune. His foil, Eli Sunday played by Paul Dano (who is originally from CT) is a young man interested in spreading the word of God and using Plainview to help procure money for his church. In their final showdown, Paul Thomas Anderson (who also wrote and directed Magnolia which I highly recommend if you can spare 3 hours) reveals to us what he thinks of human nature: that we are all, even the holiest among us, are greedy, self-indulgent beings.

I couldn't help but draw parallels between this movie and the 21st century world. There are obvious notions of America's ravenous thirst for oil, which many people have at one time or another thought was the reason we are fighting a war in Iraq. (I don't know what the real reason is. I don't think many people do). There are parts that seem to symbolize the war between religions, and the pressing of religion on the people, as the U.S. government seems to do more and more these days. If I had to guess, I would say that Paul Thomas Anderson is a liberal.

I've now seen 3 of the 5 films nominated for best picture, and am hoping to see the other two, Michael Clayton and Atonement, this week. At that point, I just might do a Best Picture post, but the three I've seen, No Country for Old Men, Juno, and Blood, have all been great. See all three if you haven't.

2008-01-28T10:28:00.000-05:00

One of the best written news articles I've read in some time was in the New York Times today.

You can read it here.

UPDATE: I was wondering why this post looked funny and realized it has no title.

Tennis players must love God

2008-01-26T09:47:00.000-05:00

Have you ever watched tennis? OK probably not. Well just to give a brief background, tennis is a sport that was created by Welsh farmers in the 16th century that were trying to herd sheep.

But, what I really want to talk about is that inevitable moment at the end of a match, usually the finals of a tournament. You know where I'm going. Immediately after the last point, the victor, in a moment of pure bliss and happiness drops to his knees and screams/ cries/ masturbates.

Andre Agassi probbaly thinking about how much he loves Canon cameras

Bjorn Borg

Maria SharpovaMaria again, for good measure.

I mean, it seems to happen at the end of every tournament, Grand Slam or otherwise. Is there a rule I don't know about? I just happened to see the highlights from the Australian Open final on Sports Center and needed to ask the question.

I think if I were in such a position, I would maybe lay down and make a snow angel or something. Or maybe I'll just start dropping to my knees in celebration at inappropriate times, like after checking out at the grocery store, or after getting the mail.

Ranking the grad schools

2008-01-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

I've completed applications for 11 of the 14 schools that I'm applying to. I'm going to enroll in a doctorate program in chemistry. Someday you may have to call me Dr. Vinnie (Boombatz).
During this process, I've been thinking that 14 schools is too many, but my grades in college, although not awful, are not stellar either. A solid 3.0 overall and in chemistry. I think 3.0 in chem put me right in middle of the group of 7 chemists that I graduated with. The best one is a grad student at Yale. If I get into 3 or 4 schools, I'll be happy. If I get into just one, I'll still be happy. As long as that one isn't UCONN.

And just for the record, doctorate programs are basically paid for through teaching or research assistantships. No tuition plus $20-25K per year plus health insurance. Add those up and it's like having a $50K a year job.

I'm applying to these schools in general order of preference (links to photos of the team's mascot):

U of Florida
U of Oregon
U of Georgia
U of Tennessee
Arizona State
U of Colorado
Georgia Tech
U of Wisconsin
Michigan State
Purdue
U of Indiana
Syracuse
Rutgers
UCONN

Basically I want to go somewhere warm that is not in the Northeast. I'm sick of you, Northeast and your cold winters and your liberal views and your what not. I also want to live somewhere cheap and I want a school with good athletics. All of these schools have decent followings for their football and basketball programs.

Once I get in at some places (If I get accepted to more than one university) I'll place much heavier consideration on the chemistry program and possible faculty advisers.

Working sucks. School is better. All you youngsters out there remember that.

Happy Birthday Mike Kennedy

2008-01-24T22:38:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Mike. You are the grossest and weirdest kid I've ever met, and today is your special day. Say hi to Sonu for me.
Also Happy Birthday Jay Stone.

Kids, the movie

2008-01-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

Let me just start by saying it took me far too long to see Kids, and it was great, but now I feel totally violated. Kids is a story, shot mostly like a documentary, about teenagers growing up in New York City. They drink. They smoke ciggypoos and dope. They steal. They have and talk about sex. They break into pools. They beat up other kids. And these seem to be the only things that interest them. Their parents are in the dark about what their kids are doing, and the kids are uninterested in what adults think or say. They act as if they are in their own world, and the camera rarely strays from them to show images of adults.

Really, I feel terrible about what's happening to these kids. Their lives are headed nowhere. Fast. Telly, who is possibly the sleeziest character I've ever seen, has only one interest, fucking. Trouble is he has HIV. God I wish I could just get this movie out of my head. It is seriously depressing me. AGH!

The characters, the writing and the directing make the experience very genuine. From what I've read, most of the cast were not actors but just kids who actually live this way and the film was written by an 18-year old kid.

Everyone should probably see this. The shock value is extremely high, and I think that's the point. You should definitely see this.

Update: Prostitutes, Drugs and Guns

2008-01-24T09:46:00.000-05:00

You can see the video of Dan's rant on John's new blog.

Forgive me Father...

2008-01-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

...for I have sinned. It has been two weeks and one day since I last shaved. I don't know why I made such a ludicrous agreement with Daniel. He hasn't shaved in over 3 weeks and he has substantially less turf up in his grill than I do. It's like you're asking how much less hair could he have, and the answer is none. None more less.

Also, I've come to grips with the fact that my job is going to suck and my boss is going to be unhappy unless I bust my ass constantly. There are many obstacles to this, the biggest being my own laziness, and my boss's insatiable appetite for blood, but more importantly that the nature of the work is unconditionally humdrum. Making edible films is not all it's cracked up to be, from my vantage point. It's more like cooking than chemistry. Throw a bunch of shit in a beaker and mix it.

BOOOORRRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG

I want to do reactions. I want to do experiments. The most interesting thing I've done thus far sit and watch Jello set up into the jiggly solid that we know it as.

In other news, I've starting receiving my Netflix, which is cool. Last night I watched the episode of Sopranos that was partially filmed at Drew University. The opening scene is shot in front of S.W. Bowne Hall and is supposed to be the admissions building at Bates. Then later, the facade of Mead Hall poses as the admissions office of Bowdoin I think. Unfortunately when they show the view of the lawn in front of that, they CGI'd out the statue of the horse whose balls I painted and subsequently had to clean off.

Gotta have faith

2008-01-21T12:03:00.000-05:00

Right now the worst song ever is stuck in my head.

Faith by Limp Bizkit/George Michael. Ugh.

I'm not sure why. I haven't heard it recently at all. Also, I was internalizing a Backstreet Boys song earlier. What the fuck? I want to drill a hole in my head like the ending of the movie Pi so that I can get this rubbish out of my brain.

Also, Fred Durst's beard is a little healthier than mine after 2 weeks.

Prostutes, Drugs, and Guns

2008-01-20T22:29:00.000-05:00

25 Years, What A Blur!

First off, Happy Bearsday to John Cuadras. We knew you could do it.

John's family had a surprise party for him Saturday night, which was lovely. At the end of the night, John's parents put together some John Cuadras trivia. So funny. John's dad was walking around with a Mike saying, "Are you Catholic?" while swinging the microphone like a priest with the Holy Water thingy.

The Dan got on the mic to give a speech. He clearly hadn;t prepared anything, and was mostly saying "25! Whoo!" At the end though, he had a great rant. Allow me to paraphrase:

"John. We're gonna go out tonight. Gonna get some prostitutes, gonna get some guns. We're gonna get drunk. We're gonna get high. YEAH! Let's do it!"

It was hysterical. Hopefully Chris Knerr has some pictures I can put up.

See also: http://eatyourguitar.org/luckyhole/?p=26

A night in Boston

2008-01-20T14:04:00.000-05:00

Me, Scott, Rinaldi, Karl, and Sigal got to Boston around 10:00 after a ridiculous car ride (and thanks to Scott, I didn't have to take a bus there, because as he informed me, I could just get a one-way ticket the next day). I always love road trips with those guys because everyone besides the driver likes to drink in the car on the way, and there is always stupidly funny conversation, mostly involving quoting TV shows or movies. Never a dull moment.

We found Patisteas wandering around some street, and then Rossi showed up, seemingly out of nowhere. I had already had 6 beers by this point. Patisteas made Sigal run all the way to Rossi's house (there wasn't room in the car for them) and when they showed up Sigal kept saying that he was gonna puke.

He didn't puke, but his skin was so pale/green, I thought he did.

Then we went out to some little bar called O'leary's and then over towards Fenway to Cask N' Flagon and Beerworks. Surprisingly none of the bars were very crowded but that didn't stop anyone from getting bombed. Eventually we all stumbled our ways back to Rossi's. Karl busted his ass along the way and I think I picked up a chunk of ice/snow and slammed it on his chest.

Someone (probably Sigal) decided it would be a good idea to wake everyone up at 11, except that everyone was still drunk when we woke up. At least I was. We went for lunch to some Cluck-U wannabe joint called Wings and ate way too much disgusting fried food. Karl and I were talking about how we should always bring hats for morning like this. I looked and felt disgusting. My hair was greasy, and I had this retarded beard.

I was unbelievably dehydrated.

At one point I looked out the window, and wouldn't you know it, Liz Gunn and Rini were standing there waving to us.

We went back to Rossi's and put on Superbad. Kim, Rossi's girlfriend said it would take an hour to get to the bus station so I left. It took about 30 minutes. I felt like shit all the way there and though I would throw up at least once. I didn't

When I finally got to the bus terminal, I tried making conversation with this girl about whatever, but looked and felt too shitty to carry on. At one point on the bus, A girl in the second row was reprimanded by the bus driver about talking on her phone (she was fucking annoying). The hilarious part was that he got on the intercom to ask her to stop, even though she was two rows back.

At Worcester a couple dudes got on the bus and were talking about getting the party poppin as soon as they got there and getting some Heinekens or some Coronas. One guy said he refused to drink Heineken Premium Light, and also that he would be getting some Hennessey.

Then I got home, and the story ended.

The Great Beard Pact of 2008

2008-01-17T20:29:00.000-05:00

Can anyone tell me what I was thinking when I agreed to let my beard grow for as long as Dan lets his? Honestly. I'm not even sure that Dan can grow facial hair. Now I'm in for a few weeks of looking like trash and having a really itchy chin. GREAT! (Any suggestions on hilarious facial hair styles I could shave into my face after the pact has been achieved?)

It's ironic that I just read this article on Snarfd.com about how fashionable beards are. Conan and David look so classy with beards, and I'm starting to think if I let it go long enough, I could pull it off.

Once upon a time there was another equally epic and ridiculous contest between me and Danny. It was the T-shirt contest. The rules were that we had to come to school with all the shirts on. No shirts could be put on in the parking lot. The whole thing was a hilarious spectacle. Look at the group of people in the library that morning watching us.

The final score was:

Dan-30 something; Me-5 less than Dan

Deep down inside I know this beard pact is a way of getting revenge for that humiliating defeat.

Charlie Ahearn: Good God

2008-01-16T23:21:00.000-05:00

Jeff had this video called Charlie Ahearn's Artist Portrait Videos that he supposedly got from his editor, although I would definitely believe it if he said he had gotten from a homeless man in a parking lot in Hartford on a Friday night looking for spare change to buy crack. This was easily one of the most bizarre and twisted things I have ever seen in my life.

I don't know what kind of awful things happened to my brain while I watched this piece-of-horse-dung video.

I guess the DVD was a collection of videos, possibly 5 (but I could only bear to watch one and a half), made by some guy named Charlie Ahearn, although I would believe his name was Charlie Payne. It's hard to explain just what happened in these videos. Well, really nothing happened. It was mostly fucked up images laid over one another. Occasionally it seemed like four or five or more images were stacked on top of one another and never seemed to unite in any sort of harmonic way.

This woman, I think her name was Kiki was constantly talking about some striaght bull crap, diarrhea-of-the-mouth-style. At one point she was reading a book, but it was like listening to a 9 year old reading Kant.

The most hilarious thing in this otherwise worthless video was a sculpture made by this Kiki person. A naked man on all fours with a 10 foot long poopie coming out of his ass. HAHAHAHA!!!!

The whole time we were watching, I was cracking up.

I couldn't help but wonder who this Charlie Ahearn character is and why he decided to make such terrible things. Now, I'm sure there is at least one person out there, probably a bunch, who think his shit is great, but seriously dude, what the hell were you thinking?

If you happen to read this, please explain this video to me and also give me a list of drugs you have done in your life.

Automated Telephone Systems

2008-01-16T16:33:00.000-05:00

During my ordeal with ETS over the last few days, and simultaneously thinking about a cover design Jeff did for the Hartford Advocate recently, I got to thinking about how archaic automated telephone systems are.

"For english, press 1. Para espanol, press 2 (but it says that part in spanish)."

Now, the fact that there was no way to send my GRE scores via the ETS website really bothered me, because by God, it's 2008 or as my carpool pal Ray put it, "Two Sousand Eight! Is redikouluss!"

So that got me wondering: In the future, what will we be able to do over the phone without ever needing to talk to another person?

Here are some possibilities:

Order Pizza: Welcome to Dominos. For Deep Dish press 3. For Mushrooms press 7. For pubes press 5.

Phone Sex: Just imagine that recorded voice going Oh. Baby. Oh. God... I was thought that woman's voice was sexy. Press pound at any time for list of positions.

Surf the Internet: We already have the internet. We already have phones. Seems like a logical next step.

Buy Drugs: You know that scene in Half Baked when Dave Chapelle is talking about how he just has to call a number, tell the guy what he wants and an hour later he has his cheebah delivered to him? Well why can't I just push some buttons and get the same service? No dealing with pesky "people" plus your vocal cords get a rest.

Command Your Army or Militia: Just think about how easy it would be to attack, reposition, or burn a village! 1. 3. 5. 1. Nuclear silo eliminated!

What really happened at Karl's house

2008-01-15T14:35:00.000-05:00

So here I am at work, on my computer, as per usual for Tuesday afternoons. I felt the urge to play spider solitaire, but at the instant that I saw my mouse pointer hover over the spider icon in my "Recently Used Crap" area of the Start menu, my mind was suddenly overcome by dark and apparently repressed memories from my New Year's trip to Karl's house.

It must've been on Sunday, while Karl was taking his hour-long Hollywood shower. I happened to notice his dad, George, playing spider solitaire. Now, you must realize that in my Airgas days, I spent about 6 hours a day playing that game. So fancying myself somewhat of a decent Spidder (that's the lingo), I challenged Big George to a match.

I easily won the first game, and I could tell Big George was getting pissed because afterwards he screamed "GOD DAMMIT! I'M GOING TO EAT YOU IF I LOSE AGAIN!" Back then, I was much younger and stupider, and not even the beast George Laufenberg threatening cannabalism could stop me from claiming a spider solitaire victory so I whooped him like a peanut butter and jelly sangwoggio (Italian for sandwich) beats a parakeet at being spelling bees.

Big G walked out of the room dejected and despondent. It was over. He was not going to eat me.

Then I heard the sound of a chainsaw and thought to myself, "That sounds like a chainsaw." I turned around and there he was, hoisting the chainsaw high over his head and weeping like a wee babe would weep.

Luckily, I never travel without my sword at my hip, and I unsheathed it. We battled for what seemed like minutes. Then Karl was FINALLY done getting ready (he took at least 3 hours) and we left.

Moral: Don't beat Big George at spider solitaire.

Carl's not that pissed

2008-01-14T18:38:00.001-05:00

Props to Karl with a K for the video.

The most ass-backwards thing I've ever heard

2008-01-14T13:35:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading an article on the New York Times.com with this headline: Amputee Ineligible for Olympic Events.

Oscar Pistorius of South Africa was born without fibulas and had his legs amputated when he was just 11 months. He's been competing in the Paralympics for four years and has set world records in the 100, 200 and 400 meter events running on carbon-fiber, J-shaped blades known as Cheetahs (ironically this sounds like cheaters). He says it's his dream to compete in the Olympics.

But the I.A.A.F. has concluded that Pistorius' prostheses give him an unfair advantage against other athletes.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE HAS NO LEGS!!!

NFL playoffs: Last second magic?

2008-01-14T11:10:00.000-05:00

My god the playoffs have been so good up to this point. I live for a game that ends with a last minute defensive stop almost as much as I love a game that ends with a last minute, go-ahead score.

And speaking of which, I feel like we're due for some first-rate, last second magic this year. I'm talking about some insane, Music City Miracle shit. Anyone remember "The Catch II" when Terrell Owens caught that last second touchdown pass from a bumbling, stumbling Steve Young? I just saw that the other day on NFL's Greatest Games. Young dropped back to pass with 8 seconds left, tripped over his feet and nearly hit the deck, gathered himself, and fired a bullet to T.O. in the front of the end zone for the win.

Brett Favre has proved he has some magic left in that arm of his. I wouldn't doubt that we could see, in what appears to be the likely Super Bowl match of Green Bay and New England, either team take the lead with under a minute left, only to be out done by the other team's Hall of Fame QB.

Got any predictions on the conference championships? Right now the spreads are:

NEW ENGLAND vs. San Diego (+14.5)
GREEN BAY vs. New York Giants (+6.5)

Who ya got?

The best diner in Vernon

2008-01-13T18:20:00.001-05:00

The procedings at Vernon Diner on Saturday night/ Sunday morning have listlessly come back to me. I remember seeing AJ Fournier and Adam Hinckley leave and get in their car which was immediately ceased by the FBI. AJ's head was savagely ripped off by a renegade officer wielding a spiked club/bat of some sort. The whole occurrence seemed completely vicious yet subtly conventional. What was equally vicious was the waitress's handling of our table: spitting in Fred's face and spilling water all over my crotch hardly seem like a proper way to treat customers.

I'm totally shocked that the Chargers upset the Colts this afternoon. I have a hunch that in the Cowboys - Giants game, Michael Strahan will decapitate Tony Romo is a correspondingly bestial manner. More on this weekend's games to come.

Momo-Taro!

2008-01-12T22:54:00.000-05:00

First off, I've found out that people are actually reading this site. That makes me feel really warm in my nether regions and Antoine's Sweaty Abyss. As long as I know you guys are reading and posting comments I will keep updating daily or semi-daily or Jeff Daley.

Have you ever gone out for dinner only to find that the restaurant was having karaoke night starring a bunch of little kids singing songs they've never heard, using some bullshit Chinatown Karaoke DVD game with hilarious MIDI songs? So you know what I'm talking about then. Weird, right?Let me give you a piece of advice: DO NOT GO TO MOMO-TARO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT!

I've never had a more awkward dinner. We're there about 10 minutes when we realize what we're in for. First a kid attempted to karaoke to I Love Rock & Roll, and when I say singing, I mean reading the words on the screen while changing his inflection. Not to mention with all the reverb on the mic he sounded more like a chorus of dying/dead children.

Later on in the night, a little before Boivin and Nikki showed up I told the waitress that if they came, I would take a big sushi knife and cut their throats, accompanied by me doing the throat-slash signal.

The little old Asian lady thought it was so funny, and when they showed up she said, "They here! They here!," to me.

I don't remember what else happened, not because I was drunk but because it was relatively uneventful (but still fun), except Dan and John took turns shooting each other and we went to Vernon Diner where I saw A.J. Fournier and Adam Hinckley.

Playoff football today. Thank goat!

Walk Hard: Fucking Hilarious

2008-01-11T17:52:00.000-05:00

Judd Apatow must be the king of Hollywood, because apparently everyone is lining up to kiss his ring and feast on fish heads with him. Ensemble cast might not be the right word to describe the ridiculous number of celebrity cameos in this movie.

These people were all in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story: John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Tim Meadows, Chris Parnell, Jack Black, Jack White, Frankie Muniz, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, Matt Besser, Harold Ramis (Egon), Jason Schwarzman, The Temptations, Lyle Lovett, Jewell, Eddie Vedder, Ed Helms, Craig Robinson, Justin Long (from the Mac/PC commericals).

Walk Hard is directly a parody of recent films about music legends, Walk The Line and Ray for example, but it is also a spoof on the history of rock. In about an hour and a half Dewey becomes addicted to cocaine and speed, goes to jail and rehab, then relapses and becomes addicted to LSD and PCP via a spiritual meeting with the Beatles, and goes to jail and rehab again. He manages to sire five children by the time he is 15, and the way the babies keep appearing out of nowhere without ever getting older is hilarious. By the end, Dewey has fathered an entire orchestra (like Bill Brasky might have).

I couldn't help but notice one scene that was directly out of Magnolia (which John C. Reilly was also in). In the latter half of Walk Hard, Dewey Cox is interviewed by Jane Lynch (Paula from 40 Year Old Virgin). Cox bears an uncanny resemblance to Frank T.J. Mackey.

Unlike another rockumentary-mockumentary, This Is Spinal Tap, the original Dewey Cox songs, while rather epic, just weren't that funny, except for the duet that started out with him saying, "In my dream you were blowing me [long pause] kisses."
My movie instincts were right again. This movie is hilarious. See it.

By the way, Jenna Fischer is fucking hot in Walk Hard and also semi-nude in some magazine. Please marry me Jenna.

The girls from the Giants game

2008-01-11T16:12:00.000-05:00

Last week I mentioned these Pats-fan ho-bags from the Giants game. I fucking hate Patriots fans but man, I love these girls.

UPDATE: Mosh made this his Facebook picture and one his friends said he knew them and both girls friended him! I told him to put in the good word for me.

Nothing's new

2008-01-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

Recently I've been carpooling with this Chinese fellow named Ray who works at Watson. He lives in Glastonbury, and clearly feels an obligation to yap my ear off the whole time. I don't mind too much, but I'd rather just listen to my iPod. Today he said I should move to Japan or China at least 6 months because Asian women love white men and it would be easy to get laid.

Speaking of Asia, I read about Nasubi, the Japanese TV star who was trapped in an apartment with no food or entertainment, and had to survive by winning things from magazine contests. The whole thing was shown on national television and eventually a live, 24-hour internet feed was set up. It is pretty hilarious, although totally retarded.

He was also forced to be nude.

I found this amazing Jeopardy! website which archives probably about 70-80% of Jeopardy episodes. Every clue and responses, including incorrect answers, which contestant answered, the order the questions were picked in and even most of Alex's stupid remarks.

Big tobacco kills

2008-01-08T13:57:00.001-05:00

I just got through reading this New York Times editorial. Connecticut, you need to come correct with some proper game.

Should I move to LA

2008-01-07T22:57:00.000-05:00

Background: I work in West Haven, CT right now as a chemist. I'm only a temp. My contract is 6 months (I started in October) and there is a possibility I could be hired as a full-time employee in April. I'm planning on attending grad school in August of '08.

If I opt to not stay on as a full time employee at my current job that leaves me with 3-4 months of free time. I'm contemplating the following options:

1) Road Trip. A few weeks to a month. Visit major cities in the US.

2) Move to Los Angeles. Stay with my aspiring actor friend Max. Get a bullshit job. Shmooze around LA for a while.

I'm not sure what I want to do. I have a few months to think about it and I definitely don't want to sit around at home during that time.

Any suggestions?

Gaints vs. Bucs

2008-01-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

I got to go to the Giants-Bucs game Sunday in Tampa, FL. It was my first time visiting Tampa, and could very well be my last, unless my dad decides to move there.

More or less, it's a pretty boring place. Lots of unused space. No downtown area. But I did see about 10 strip clubs. Also, I was expecting to see many more hot girls there.

Giants won 24-14. I got pretty wasted during the game.

We flew home today. I saw a girl who has the same birthday as me in the airport terminal on the way home. She was taking the same flight as me, but I didn't see her on the plane, interestingly enough.

I miss the warm weather.

2007 went out with a bang Part 4 of 4: New Year's Eve

2008-01-04T10:12:00.000-05:00

Just for the record, New Year's Eve 2007 sucked a huge boner. I went to a party in Boston with Mike and Ted and then got kicked out. I ended up wandering around Brighton while trying to call Fred and John for about an hour.

Fast-forward 365 days. The place: Malvern, PA.

The day was full of Rock Band, grocery shopping and playing with noise makers in the check-out line at iParty.

At the grocery store, Karl decided it would be a good idea to get the most retarded shopping cart ever. Instead of a normal cart it was like a little one with two baskets, one high and one low. Anytime I think about shopping carts I always remember the little old lady from Shop Rite who asked me, "Is this your wagon?" referring to a shopping cart. It wasn't mine.

When we got back we showered (separately) and started drinking. Before I knew it, the party was in full effect and we were playing some crazy beirut-style drinking game called 21. Then some drunk and obnoxious dude named Tim wanted to beat up some loud and obnoxious dude named Jim because Jim said "Get out of here with your earring," to Tim. I think Tim got mad because he didn't have any earrings. Jim did not know this.

Unfortunately the hottest girl at the party was married. At one point during flip cup, he said "Damn. Look at my wife's ass," to me. I gladly obliged. I told him it was nice.

Unfortunately, the second hottest girl was in high school.

Countdown to midnight. Dick Clark said "Happy Dew Year!" Champagne started flowing. More drinking. More sandwiches. And some high schooler got a handjob from his girlfriend while I was trying to sleep. . . in the same room.

We played the traditional New Year's Day football game. My soreness has finally worn off. I didn't catch any passes.

My only New Year's resolution is to stay out of jail.

Good Luck 2008.

Happy Dew Year!

2008-01-03T22:00:00.000-05:00

I heard about this the other day on the radio but didn't see the video until just now. By God, it's hilarious. Dick Clark is pretty much only asked to say one thing a year but I guess he's just too old and frail to say it correctly.

Hopefully, he's just a comic genius screwing with us all.

Hopefully he'll get it right next year.

2007 went out with a bang Part 3 of 4: Sunday

2008-01-03T04:27:00.000-05:00

Sunday ended up being your average Sunday. Wake up with a nice huge headache and an equally huge hangover. Take aspirin. Drink water. Get humped by Karl's bitch (how or why a female dog would choose to hump a person is still beyond me).

Then of course, watch football. Sundays between September and January are holy days to me. Somehow I have been able to use the excuse, "I have to watch football," to avoid doing so many things that were supposed to happen on Sundays. Birthday parties, day trips, Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitzvahs.

In one game I saw, the Eagles handily beat the Bills.

The other game was, at one point in the past year, a potentially huge week 17 rematch of the 2006 NFC Championship. Unfortunately, the Saints and Bears had massively disappointing seasons. I think the Bears beat the Saints. Or maybe the Saints beat the Bears. Or maybe who gives a fuck about that game.

Later we headed to Malvern, PA, supposedly a suburb of Philly, to Mosh's house. House isn't even the word to use. Castle is more like it. Luckily, we had missed all of the important games of the day during the car ride. We got to Mosh's and played Rock Band for a while. Rock Band is quite possibly the sweetest video game ever. Guitar Hero meets Bass Hero meets Singing Hero meets Drums Hero. So fun.

Chris's parentals were nice enough to invite us along to dinner with their whole family (about 12 of us in all). The restaurant was BYOB so I got semi-wasted on Sam Adams and merlot. I ate the veal and said weird things to Mosh's youngest brother Rob (senior in high school) and his girlfriend. I'm sure they thought I was hilarious.

The night ended with more Rock Band, a little Scene It dominated by Karl, Mosh and myself thanks to the clutch, last-second Pay It Forward response (that movie was terrible), and the first 40 minutes of Superbad at which point everyone passed out until we all woke up without headaches.

2007 went out with a bang Part 2 of 4: Giants vs. Pats

2008-01-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

Saturday we were headed to the Giants - Patriots game at Giants Stadium in some swamp in north Jersey. Karl was named Regional Manager of Tailgating Food by the powers that be. I gladly took up the position as Assistant to the Regional Manager a la Dwight Schrute.

While shopping I discovered that people in grocery stores have a special affinity for talking to me. Perhaps it was my perplexed countenance as I searched for the condiments aisle that caused that nice old lady to offer her expertise or that made that elderly man strike up a conversation over the necessity of sauerkraut on a hot dog.

So whatever, we bought some groceries and some liquor and a bottle of Andre, which I drank to my dome in about 20 minutes at the game.

In the parking lot we played a little beer pong (you had to aim a foot to the left because of the wind) and a little flip cup. I attempted to get the world's largest flip cup game together by yelling for people to bring their tables and their bodies over, but no one obliged or even acknowledged me for that matter. I was reunited with McCann (whom I saw drink beer for the first time ever), Spads, and Mosh who I hadn't seen since May. Spads kept begging Karl to let him be grillmaster by saying something like, "Hey, need any help?" over and over until Karl was on the table. Spads was not happier that night, or possibly his whole life, than at that moment.

The game was good. Pats went 16-0. Brady and Moss broke their respective records on a single play (how Moss got into one-on-one coverage two plays in a row is baffling). Fuck the Patriots. The highlight of the game was some grungy ass dude letting me swig off his flask to which he then screamed, "WHISKEY!" That guy was hilarious and shitfaced. He bit Mosh's arm because he is a Pats fan. Also there were two amazingly hot girls three rows behind us. One of them waved at me a couple times. I hated them because they were Patriots fans. But they were hot.

After the game we ate more burgers and hot dogs and drank more beer while the parking lot emptied out. Karl ended up leaving important parts to his dad's grill there. Asshole.

We finally left around who-the-fuck-knows o' clock. We dropped off Anthony in Paramus. He pointed out a strip club called Satin Dolls and said "It's the one from Sopranos, and it's open forever." I still don't know what that meant. We decided to stop at Satin Dolls. Dave decided to sleep in the car. We went in, and after noticing that none of the five girls on stage were nude or getting nude, we left. We would refer to this place for the rest of the weekend as the worst strip club ever.

Then we all went to sleep. Although Dave had been sleeping for about 3 hours already, including while he drove about half an hour to Karl's house. We went to bed and I woke up with a headache the next morning. Again.

2007 went out with a bang Part 1 of 4: Jersey

2008-01-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

2007 was one of the best years in recent memory. I graduated college which is cool. I spent all summer playing golf which is also cool.

The last four days of 2007 could probably only have been better if I had won the lottery during a threesome with 2 gorgeous women while watching a midget (little person?) juggle chainsaws and swallow fire.

Friday I went down to the dirty dirty Jerz-ee to chill with Karl. After playing Klondike on my iPod while waiting for him in a parking lot at the Metropark, we headed to his house where we were fed nothing but meat scraps and Lea & Perrins Worchestshire sauce (and what a sauce!). I sat around and drank Magic Hat while Karl played with his new iBook which his father, and eventually I, kept calling gay.

Then it was off to Belmar to hit the bars. First stop was The Boathouse, which I kept calling The Rusty Scupper. During our one and only beer I noticed two of the nastiest 50 year olds I've seen in my life publicly displaying way to much affection. Her hand, his cock, 'nuff said. Then we went to 507. Lot of talent here and a few Guidos (or Blowouts as Pic was calling them). Got drunk. Got some chicks number through the following conversation:

ME: So I'll call you when I'm gonna come up to Hoboken and we'll all hang out right?
HER: Yeah, Karl should have my number.
ME: Karl, Do you have her number?
KARL: No.
ME: Well why don't you give me your number and then I'll give it to Karl?

I don't really remember much else except that I got sufficiently wasted and really enjoyed the chicken salad hoagie I got at Wawa, so much that I got another one before I left for CT on Tuesday.

My boss is a monster or possibly the devil

2007-12-28T14:27:00.000-05:00

How is it possible for a person to completely contradict 10 different things they have told you over the course of 11 weeks in a matter of five minutes? This literally just happened to me.

My boss has to be possessed by a demon. It's the only possibility.

For nearly three months I've been working for her. But for the first time I realize that her dementia isn't her fault. No. She is most certainly haunted or maybe touched by the angels, or maybe haunted by a demon that has been touched by the angels.

I can't take it anymore. There is no way that I can work like this. The most training I received here has been 4 hours of mandatory building safety training. Not a lick of job-specific training. Instead, in my first job since graduation, I've been asked to "feel it out" which has been accompanied by semi-monthly sessions of my boss giving me 15 reasons that she is better at this job than I am.

HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED TO WORK LIKE THIS?!

Good thing I'm going away until Wednesday. Happy New Year.